Sunday, February 13, 2011

Who Says Single Life Is Lonely During Valentine's Day?

Yes...i admit, i also experienced in my single life being lonely during valentine's day especially when I don't have someone special or not even have a date. But i realized that being lonely during pre-valentine's day, valentine's day itself or post valentine's day is a choice for us singles.

If we're going to think of roses or whatever flowers we're longing to receive but not received during this special occasion or long for a date that we were longing to have but it didnt would really make us lonely...or should i say...very lonely!

I want to share here my comment on Thess' blog last February 2 this year, "As i dropped by at a bookstore with my family last Sunday after church service, i saw valentine cards, roses, hearts, etc for valentine's day and one of my nieces' nannies said, "sana man lang, ate, kahit isang heart man lang o kaya malaking card na ganito (pointing to a VERY BIG card) may magbigay sa akin ng ganito this valentine's day" and i laughed and said, agree...wish ko din...hahaha...and she said "kaya lang ate, wala pa, pangit naman kung ako ang magbibigay sa sarili ko nito"...and i laughed harder."

Funny...but we all experienced that longing once or many times in our lives. Of course, we're just human. Each of us long to be loved and cared for by someone but if that someone is not yet there, why stay lonely?

As singles, we have a lot of things to offer...we have a lot of things to focus on to make our lives so sweet and enjoyable. And romantic relationship does not even complete  us or  our single world. As Jason Illian said in his book "Undressed" (The Naked Truth about Love, Sex, and Dating): "A romantic relationship- no matter how passionate, spontaneous or exciting- can never complete you.Only God can do that." I agree.

In addition to that, I also realized that how you handle your singleness matters a lot when you're already married. I remember what my sister Odette told me so many times during our phone conversations (she is happily married with one kid, who is in the US now)...she said, "Enjoy your single life for if you didn't enjoy your singleness, when you get married, there's a tendency to look back and say, "Oh, I want to be single again" (because of the complexity of marriage life). I would always respond to her jokingly, "Oh, i think i already enjoyed my single life too much that i want to get married soon." But, i realized more that I should be happy that i'm still single because i can still do a lot of things without thinking of "a diaper for my baby or waking up early not just to prepare myself for work but also prepare something for my husband and think a lot of things not just for me but for the whole family. 
But of course I dont want to remain single forever...i long to be married and have a wonderful husband and kids and i'm ready for all those responsibilities but what i'm saying is, there are things that you can do as single that you have some limitations of doing when you are already married. 
As Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians, "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."-(I Corinthians 7:32-34).

Now, in line with what i was saying that being lonely during valentine's day is a choice for singles, i would like to share why i can say that you can't be lonely during pre-valentine's day, valentine's day itself or post valentine's day if you have the right focus.

Let me share to you my pre-valentine's day.
Today, i had three wonderful dates....

1) My first date this morning was with my sisters, nieces, their nannies and other families. I attended a family day celebration in the school of my 2 nieces and since my brother in law is in another country, my other single sister and i stood as guardians of one of my nieces while their mom (my other sister) stood as a guardian to one of them. Mingling with married people with their kids was so much fun and i was proud  this morning that I'm just an aunt and not a mom yet. The pictures below are some of our shots during family day this morning.

family day with my two sisters and nieces at my nieces' school
with my sister tess
with my niece Sarah getting ready for the games 

with some parents and kids ( message relay game )

2) My second date today was late in the afternoon....and that was a date with  some of my connect members. After attending family day celebration at my nieces' school, i picked up nine of my connect members who are not yet members of the church and i brought them to our church's children's church. I also brought them home together with my assistant leader and my mother after the children's church service. When i asked them what was their feeling, they said, they were so blessed that they attended the children's church. Their ages are nine years old to twelve years old. And what a great feeling to bring them closer to God.

3) My third date was with the the greatest lover of our soul....the author of love...God. As mentioned on my comment to Thess' blog, "JESUS is the greatest valentine date that i could ever have (not being so spiritual but knowing that there's somebody up there who loves me the most and loves me unconditionally mean a lot to me)."
While waiting for the children's church service to finish this afternoon, i went to our church's prayer room and spent time with God (since i already attended church service last night). Spending almost two hours in the prayer room singing, pouring out my heart to God, reading the Bible and praying with my mother made me feel so complete.
"What about during valentine's day, what will you do?" may ask. Well, i got a lot of things in having a date with my mother...doing productive things...and i know i won't feel's really a choice.
And what about post valentine's day? I planned so many things to do and one of them is to visit a home for the aged and extend God's love to them through me.
My question is...what about you? Are you lonely today because you're single and tomorrow is valentine's day? Cheer up my friend! It's a choice to be lonely. There are people who need God's love to be extended through you...If you don't have someone special yet to receive the love you're longing for from...extend the love to others and don't forget to spend time with God....the author of love...the lover of your soul!
Happy Valentine's day, my friend!

Copyright © 2011 by Mari Ann Rose "Mariah" F. Gadapan . All rights reserved worldwide.
(I put "copyright" on my every post because this is my blog site, it's like my signature on my every post.)

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